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This entire week is going to be BADASS. Today I worked from noon to 4:30pm which allowed me to sleep in and still go out. Tomorrow, I have class and then I work from 8:45pm to close which gives me time to take a LONG nap. Wednesday I work but in the middle of the day whichapos;ll turn out to be like today. On Thursday, I have class again and close again, same shift as Tuesday. Friday Iapos;m going to Six Flags and Saturday I have two parties. Sunday is sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
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So trying to figure out the where and how are we going to possible get there at almost 11pm on a saturday night ...
times like these where i just slip on asome "going out" clothes and have to sigh "college-life"� Been reading the Belle de Jour blog, FASCINATING as hell. Even picked up her book too. She is just so whitty and so "yeah thats what its like, now lets do something else" about everything which makes me smile. So still confused over the eastern one ... Oh and talking to the western one who has gotten a lot more demanding than i remember last - and the irony of the whole siutuation is killing me. I talked to the one about it (the new) and he agreed that yes i was truly fucked in this predicament and even though he was the one in question still thought it was funny - then spent a couple hours taunting me about the past "our" past, or w/e.

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Oh, I feel a strange pulling. Iapos;m in the first serious, committed, reciprocal relationship of my life, but itapos;s nothing like I expected. Natural, comforting, steadying - he sets me back to neutral at the end of the day when Iapos;ve been raging with my little angers, passions, and inspirations. Heapos;s my perfect opposite, my perfect fit, my perfection.

But these passions simmer, boil, and rise up in a greedy desire to self-perpetuate. I want to dive in, lose control, get hurt. The sting of temptation for men that live in their bodies, who live in the moment and promise nothing to nobody or anywhere, hurts me as only half that it would him if I were to pursue it.

I am facing the ugliness inside of myself - the quivering insecurities that demand more, more, more, more, and me, me, me, me. My life is so selfish, so insatiable, that I frequently burn out in a desperate clutching for everything: for acknowledgment, for success, for approval.

Transformation marks a great love.
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Another student, Andrew, joined my bible studies group today I realised he is attending PMC. A methodist as well. Another young life entrusted into my hands by God.

This is our� first session without the presence of Ps. Norman and Hon Leong. Beth and I are simply clueless about what to do with Care and Andrew. We read 4 verses of the bible on our own, share our thoughts on it and pray for each otherapos;s burden; and also fellowship over a walnut cake.� What an interesting start to the our gathering. Definitely His divine intervention

I�have to take it ONE step at a time. I am not sure if we should continue our weekly meeting through the holidays. I am not sure what curriculum we should do. Should we even be doing that?� I am not sure about A�LOT of things. ONE step at a time it shall be.
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